Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
