And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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