Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
