I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
