i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
