It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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