i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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