we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
