Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
