Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
