Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just found puke in my bra..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
