I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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