Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
