If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
