Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
