I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
