I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
