i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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