i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
