i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
