What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
