the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
