i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
