I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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