Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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