with your own penis?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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