you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
