Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
A bitchslap is in order.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
