my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
