The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
