Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Less talking, more tequila
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
