6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
