YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
