wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i barfeds in our rink
he puts the penis in happiness.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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