I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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