who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
