Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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