it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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