Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
