On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
