We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
