why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
All the doctor said was why
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
