just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
