you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
