I'm going to jail i love you
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
