How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
