Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
