she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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