what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
