the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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